Saying Goodbye...For a Time

Last Sunday evening we flew to Salt Lake for my grandma's funeral, which was held on Tuesday March 1st. The kids were so excited to be flying. Kylene has flown before but didn't remember it, and Spencer had never been on an airplane. It was a really windy day in Oregon and we really felt the wind during take off. While I was freaking out inside at being jolted back and forth as the plane raced down the runway, Kylene was looking up at me saying, "Isn't this great, mom?!" I was a good mom and grinned through it, totally agreeing with her:). They both agreed their favorite parts about flying were the take off and the landing, both my least favorite parts!

We were able to stay at Kyle's sister, Christine's home, while we were in Smithfield. We also got to me her new husband, Dave! That was a lot of fun to have time to see them so happy, get to know him a little, and get to see her kids. Kylene and Spencer loved playing with Zach especially and whined every time we had to leave her house to go to see the other family. Then when we'd be leaving all the other cousins, they'd whine about not wanting to leave them. They loved the time with all the cousins/second cousins/aunts and uncles, multiple grandmas (actually great aunts), etc. It was really cute to see them get to know my cousin's children as well.

Monday morning I was privileged to go see my grandmother while they dressed her for burial and did her hair. My cousin who is a beautician did her hair and my mom and aunt dressed her. One of my sisters (Jana) and four of my cousins were able to be there. My first thought when I saw her was how beautiful she was. Honestly, she is one of the most beautiful deceased people I have ever seen. She looked so peaceful and perfect. We all cried together as we surrounded her and tried to dress her how she would want to be dressed for others to see her. It was a very sacred experience for me, and provided me with some special quiet time with her for which I am so grateful.

We had an early dinner together with my immediate family who had arrived so far (the Rummler's and Glen Barney's arrived a few hours later), then headed to the Funeral Home for the viewing. The viewing that night lasted two hours and was a constant stream of people coming to pay their respects. It was so neat to see how many people will come to see a 92 year old woman who has been homebound for at least five years. My mom commented on what a tribute it was to her since most of her friends her age were already gone. She was so loved and so good, and was giving right up until the day she died.

Monday evening after the viewing we all went back to her home. All of my siblings, their spouses, and our children were there! It was so wonderful to have us all together again. There are 34 of us. We all crowded around my grandparent's living room for a brief family rememberance. My mom shared details of the last day or so of her life on earth, then anyone who wanted to took a few minutes to share a favorite memory of Grandma Ruby. We laughed and cried together and remembered her wonderful spirit.

Tuesday morning we spent some more time together at her home then headed up to the chapel for the viewing, family prayer, and funeral. Right before the funeral, my dad shared some thoughts on our body and spirit's being united in life and talked about their separation at death and how they will be reunited in the resurrection. He shared his testimony of the gospel and how wonderful grandma is. It was a great teaching moment for all the children, but also a wonderful reminder for each of us. He then offered the family prayer and we all said our final goodbyes before they closed the casket. That was probably the hardest moment for me. It was so hard to know it would close one last time and I wouldn't see her again in this life.

The funeral was beautiful and sweet. Three of her children shared "family rememberances" and did such a great job of telling about her and what an incredible woman she was. A lifelong friend gave the life sketch, and three of my cousins sang a song as well as three of my cousin's daughters (so Grandma's great granddaughters). They all did a wonderful job and the spirit was there in abundance. I realized even more what a powerful influence she had for good in this life, and she did it in such a quiet, humble way. My mom talked about Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk in the last General Conference about the "helpers" in God's Kingdom. He talked about one lady expressing her sadness that she was "only a helper", rather than a leader. He said, "Dear sister, God bless you and all the 'helpers' in the kingdom. Some of us who are leaders hope someday to have the standing before God that you have already attained." He talked about how vital those quiet servants of God are to His work. My grandma was definitely a helper. She did an incredible amount of good and touched so many lives year after year, steadfastly serving in any way she could find.

Following the funeral, we followed the procession to the cemetary where my uncle dedicated the grave. Then we went back to the church for the family luncheon and a picture of all her direct descendants. We filled the entire area in front of the stage. It was neat to be a part of it and I can't wait to see the picture (from my dad)! Then we spent a little time together that afternoon back at the house before heading back up to Christine's for a fun evening with them. My mom got out all of her fabric (a lot) and all the granddaughters who wanted to came over and we went through and picked the pieces we liked. I got several really cute pieces that I'm excited to make skirts out of for myself and Kylene. It is extra special knowing it's from her collection.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted that night, but so grateful to have been a part of it all. When my grandfather (her husband) passed away in 2000, I was in Israel so I missed the funeral. I have always been sad about that. I have felt especially close to Grandma Ruby since living with her that next school year (2000-2001) when I taught in Logan, and I truly felt like I lost a dear friend. But, as Kyle keeps reminding me, I am grateful she is in a more peaceful place, out of pain, and with her family who had gone before. She was the last remaining sibling or spouse of her or my grandpa's side, and she had 13 children in her family alone! So it was a wonderful reunion I am sure.

On Wednesday we didn't fly out until that evening, so we ended up heading down to Salt Lake and touring around Temple Square. We got to see the new Church History Library, the new scale model of the inside of the Salt Lake Temple (really neat!), and saw a new hands-on children's exhibit in the Church History Museum. The kids loved that especially and spent over an hour playing. While we were in there, the Primary General Presidency and members of the General Board came through on a tour (since it just opened in January). It was fun to watch them try out all the children's play areas. While they were in the kitchen/home area talking about it, Spencer just weaved in between all of them and started playing. At first, I was like, "Wait, Spencer!" and wanted to get him out of the way, but then I realized that would be even more disruptive, so I just let him keep playing. They smiled and watched and helped him a little, which was cute to see. One of the men giving the tour came over afterward and thanked me for letting him be a "real-life" example of how much the kids are going to enjoy the new exhibit.

It was a fun, but emotionally draining and physically tiring trip. I am so thankful we got to go and be together as a family. I'm grateful my children were able to be a part of it. I hope Kylene (and maybe Spencer?) will remember parts of it at least.

Today I bore my testimony about how at times like these, the truthfulness and beauty of the Plan of Salvation sinks even deeper into your heart, and how grateful I am for this knowledge to carry me through. I expressed gratitude for the Savior and His Atonement, upon which hinges the entire Plan. I also expressed gratitude for the beautiful legacy of faith my grandma gave to me. In a world that teaches that our choices only affect us, that it doesn't matter what you choose to do, the Gospel teaches us the importance of being a strong link in our eternal family chain. My grandmother was a strong link and has given me such a beautiful legacy that I only hope I can carry on. I am so thankful for her and will miss her so dearly!